If your dog could text, here are 10 things the text message might say:

  1. Drop your remote, already, I’ve got an itch under my collar.
  2. You know, I’ve been staring at your plate for 20 minutes. One morsel, just one friggin morsel!

  1. Hey! … HEY!! I’m dying here. How about the kid walks and I sit in the stroller?
  2. Don’t ask ME what happened to the cat’s food.
  3. It’s getting a little smelly in the back yard. Just sayin.
  4. Fetch? Tell you what, I’ll throw the stick, YOU crawl through the thistles and pick it up.
  5. I catch hell for barking, but you have no problem firing up the Hoover during my nap time.
  6. How was I supposed to know that was your new girlfriend. Besides, her leg was saying “hump me.”
  7. Roll over? Serious? How about you doing a back handspring, asshole?

bulldog thinking "roll over?"

and the number one message from your dog is:

  1. Well, if you’d let me in the jet tub once in a while, I wouldn’t have to lick my balls.

You know that your dog is thinking these things! If you’ve got any dog-texts that you would like to share, I would love to see them.

Old Dude

Photo credits:
1. Feature image: Joshua Smith (flickr)
2. Bulldog: Cristina Pessini (flickr)