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box of quinoa

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old dude profile
“Old dudes are like quinoa: people pretend they like them but they don’t want them in their house.”

– Old Dude

Let’s call a ‘Spade’ a ‘Hand Tool with a Long Handle and Pointy Blade.’

(Notice how I’ve tactfully avoided the use of the term ‘shovel’ in the title as it might offend those people who regularly dish out the doo-doo.)

A Promotional Poster Spotted Somewhere in The Centre of Canada:

Toronto blue jays vs. Cleveland

They Don’t Use the ‘I’ Word in Toronto

News this week (from a reliable source) has it that Blue Jays broadcaster Jerry Howarth, after receiving a fan letter in 1992, has since refused to use the word ‘Indian’ in broadcasts. After he revealed that, other media have hopped onto the politically-petrified language bandwagon. The Jerry reportedly has also stopped using other terms such as ‘tomahawk chop’ and ‘powwow on the mound.’

Baseball is a Mine Field of Insensitive Word Bombs

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National Selfie Day . . . Really?

Stick That Selfie!

Apparently, June 21st is ‘National Selfie Day.’ Naturally, I have a few things to say about selfies, so here goes …

I don’t want to go into a diatribe (like some people do) about the ridiculous number of selfies taken in our world, where too often the subjects (and objects, as it turns out)  are egocentric, narcissistic, attention seekers—from snot-nosed school kids, to ostentatious young adults, to arrogant old bastards—who insist on polluting social media sites and boring their past-friends with daily photos of themselves, often surrounded by other like-minded (or, mindless) acquaintances.

Some people have strong opinions, don’t they?

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Top 10 Things NOT to Say to U.S. Customs

Most Canadian Snowbirds are used to the drill at U.S. Customs when entering the states. But if you’re new to travelling south, or aren’t sure about the expectations, then here’s a starter course for you.

Top 10 Responses That Will Definitely Delay (or kill) Your Visit

Old Dude would recommend answering officials’ questions succinctly and promptly, and not to offer additional (unsolicited) information. When driving to the U.S., here is my top ten list of things not to say to customs officials:

  1. We don’t know how long we’re staying.
  2. What’s the matter, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

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