CategoryTop 10

Top 10 Translations of Common Phrases

What People Say. What People Mean.

Here is a list of 10 common phrases. Click the arrows to reveal my translations (i.e. what is ‘really’ meant).

10. It makes you look 10 years younger!
9. That's quite nice.
8. Hey, it's great to see you again. What have you been up to?
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Top 10 Ways Old Men Are Like Babies

Life is like a bell curve in some ways: you start out with limited skills and knowledge; you make gains in these areas (hopefully), then peak at some point; finally, these qualities diminish as we get old. Here’s my top ten list of why old men are like babies:

  1. Most of them have little or no hair.
  2. They will nod off at any moment (regardless of what’s going on).

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Top 10 Things NOT to Say to U.S. Customs

Most Canadian Snowbirds are used to the drill at U.S. Customs when entering the states. But if you’re new to travelling south, or aren’t sure about the expectations, then here’s a starter course for you.

Top 10 Responses That Will Definitely Delay (or kill) Your Visit

Old Dude would recommend answering officials’ questions succinctly and promptly, and not to offer additional (unsolicited) information. When driving to the U.S., here is my top ten list of things not to say to customs officials:

  1. We don’t know how long we’re staying.
  2. What’s the matter, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

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Top 10 Text Messages From Your Dog

If your dog could text, here are 10 things the text message might say:

  1. Drop your remote, already, I’ve got an itch under my collar.
  2. You know, I’ve been staring at your plate for 20 minutes. One morsel, just one friggin morsel!

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