Critters Have Supernatural Powers

It’s the only explanation, really. There must be untold numbers of wild and domesticated animals that have learned and mastered hypnotic powers. They have charmed, bewitched, hypnotized or otherwise put spells on legions of people. And the numbers are growing.

If animules don’t have supernatural powers, then how else can you explain the way that otherwise intelligent humans are lured into doing the most ridiculous things on behalf of critters. This article exposes two groups of people with insidious, indelible spells cast upon them.

(1) PETA Piffle

(… or, ‘When Good Ideas Turn Bad’)

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) organization reminds me of the communist movement: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

They started out as a movement to stop animal abuse. Fair enough. But then they gained some momentum, started to attract a fanatical following, and became five times larger than the N. Korean People’s Army.

PETA parade vs. N. Korea parade

Which group seems likely to be entranced?

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Anyone With Impaired Intelligence Can Post to TripAdvisor

In another fruitless attempt to avoid any meaningful activites (by making myself look busy on the computer), I decided to look at some TripAdvisor reviews.

Boss and I, when in Casa Grande, AZ (which is about 5 months every winter) have a favourite watering hole close to home: McMashers Bar & Grill. I try not to read other people’s reviews in case they influence my own weak opinions. But as I had just finished reading the rest of the internet and was bored, I thought that I would browse through TripAdvisor reviews.

McMashers Mashup

I came across some interesting quotes from customer reviews of McMashers. This selection left me more flummoxed than usual after I read them; they require further clarification or additional information, so I’ve added my comments in parentheses:

  • (a) “When we stepped in it was dark I could hardly see. Sports bar and fairly crowded.”; (b) “Only down side is that it is noisy.” (IT’S A SPORTS BAR PEOPLE. HELLO.)
  • “Lots of tvs and off track petting.” (I tried petting the blonde bartender, but she slapped me, so I’m not sure this claim is true).
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Top 10 Translations of Common Phrases

What People Say. What People Mean.

Here is a list of 10 common phrases. Click the arrows to reveal my translations (i.e. what is ‘really’ meant).

10. It makes you look 10 years younger!
9. That's quite nice.
8. Hey, it's great to see you again. What have you been up to?
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Missing: Pair of Snowbirds from B.C.

Exploring Nature

Boss and I went for a hike today in Arizona. We thought “Let’s get away from the hubbub and crowds and explore nature in the desert landscape.” Or was it, “You’re pissing me off by getting in my space all day; lets get outa the house.”? (Maybe those were my words more than hers … but probably not.)

Anyway, we drove to the local mountain trailhead. As we arrived there, we noticed that a couple from B.C. parked next to us (at least, I’m assuming they were a couple; they looked extremely miserable and quite the worse for wear).

Canadian Snowbirds Eh?

As the two “whiteheads” * emerged from their car, we greeted them in the typical Canuck snowbird fashion:
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