Top 10 Ways Old Men Are Like Babies

Life is like a bell curve in some ways: you start out with limited skills and knowledge; you make gains in these areas (hopefully), then peak at some point; finally, these qualities diminish as we get old. Here’s my top ten list of why old men are like babies:

  1. Most of them have little or no hair.
  2. They will nod off at any moment (regardless of what’s going on).

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(I found this bit of advice too late.)

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and to remove all doubt.”

– Abraham Lincoln

box of quinoa

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old dude profile
“Old dudes are like quinoa: people pretend they like them but they don’t want them in their house.”

– Old Dude

Let’s call a ‘Spade’ a ‘Hand Tool with a Long Handle and Pointy Blade.’

(Notice how I’ve tactfully avoided the use of the term ‘shovel’ in the title as it might offend those people who regularly dish out the doo-doo.)

A Promotional Poster Spotted Somewhere in The Centre of Canada:

Toronto blue jays vs. Cleveland

They Don’t Use the ‘I’ Word in Toronto

News this week (from a reliable source) has it that Blue Jays broadcaster Jerry Howarth, after receiving a fan letter in 1992, has since refused to use the word ‘Indian’ in broadcasts. After he revealed that, other media have hopped onto the politically-petrified language bandwagon. The Jerry reportedly has also stopped using other terms such as ‘tomahawk chop’ and ‘powwow on the mound.’

Baseball is a Mine Field of Insensitive Word Bombs

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